The Star Wars Prequel Trilogy: Sorry in Advanced

prequel

Hey y’all, happy May the 5th. Today I’m talking about the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy. Originally, I was going to watch all 9 Star Wars movies but they are all ~2.5 hours. So something to look forward to in the future!

I don’t know the last time I watched any of these prequel movies. I watched in episode number order.

Comments while watching the prequel movies:

The Phantom Menance: (Prequel #1)

  • Why is this movie 2hr 16min
  • Iconic theme
  • That’s a lot of scrolling text exposition and I don’t know what any of the terminology means
  • A very young captain and a French accent? Nice
  • Tc-14 is just c3po but silver
  • Oh hey its Anakin and Obi Wan (not Anakin, not obi wan?)
  • They aren’t going to thank the droid?
  • Maybe they should have heard out the Jedi knights
  • The federation is bronze nosing so hard
  • Oh Palpatine is a senator
  • The room with the queen reminds me of greek philosophy
  • Enter Jar Jar Binks, everyone’s least favorite character

“The ability to speak does not make you intelligent”

-Obi Wan, The Phantom Menace
  • Let’s practically blackmail jar to lead us to the city
  • Cool underwater sequence
  • Not reporting the Jedi is your downfall
  • Good day to be the biggest fish
  • Are you telling me the queen has no guards to guard her 
  • “That doesn’t compute” to “You’re under arrest” ๐Ÿคฃ
  • R2d2s… is one of them the one and only? (Yes)
    • If it is all his friends died in front of him
  • Darth Maul is here
  • Boys didn’t read the fine print 
  • Padme is famous but I don’t remember why

On Anakin’s home planet for the prequel trilogy and Luke’s for the main:

  • Is handmaiden really from the queen or captain
  • Of course, Jar would step in poop
  • Who is the small boy? Luke? Nevermind, it’s Anakin
  • No one is going to pay for the frog?
  • C3po is here. Not in gold yet
  • They sent a message after being expressly told not to? ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ
  • No, you’re checking if he’s Jedi
  • Anakin is more powerful than Yoda?? Niceee

The Race:

  • The guy who always wins cheats probably (yes)
  • Jaba is here
  • Why would you mess with your “weakest” competitor
  • This why you listen to Qui Gon
  • Anakin, meet Obi-Wan your future master
  • Did you not hear the message Ani?

The Last Bit of this prequel

  • Oh no not Palpatine
  • Qui gon saw his face? Wouldn’t you know what a sith looks like?
  • Palpatine got what he wanted
  • You’re explaining biology to me?
  • Jar is going to be useful?
  • Let’s show outsiders the sacred place. Great idea.
  • Padme = queen. That’s why she’s famous 
  • What better way to start a friendship than to fight a war together
  • Bad idea to make jar general. He’s clumsy
  • If it was autopilot and you know where the power button is… just turn it off
  • If this mirrors the later movies, Qui Gon dies and Obi-Wan loses a limb
  • Good thing Anakin is a skilled podracer
  • What a cost-effective army to send out Droids
  • Your last request is giving Obi-Wan your trainee? Really? 
  • Foreshadowing much Palpatine
  • I don’t know much about sith, do they have shapeshifting abilities
  • Gungan know how to party

Attack of the Clones (Prequel #2)

  • More scrolling yellow font
  • “I guess there was no danger at all” immediate explosions
  • Former Jedi doesn’t mean innocent. They kill people all the time
  • So Ani is like 17 and she’s like 25
  • Ani is sassy. Is that Boba Fett
  • Where did Ani’s ego come from?
  • Why is Ani crushing so hard? Is it that Padme was the first girl he knew roughly around his age?  A 7-year-old would not be crushing so hard 
  • Ah yes being a podracer translates to being a reckless flier. 
  • Shocking isn’t it 
  • How could he fall like 40 feet with no injuries or hitting something else?
  • Poorly designed spaceship. She probably would have died as the friction force wasn’t that great. 
  • Ani will be the death of him (irony)
  • Death sticks= cigarettes?

After the assassin chase:

  • Padme subtly tells Jar to shut up 
  • Ani isn’t grown up. He’s a brat and too unpredictable. 
  • Ani is being a creeper.
  • A padawan is a padawan for 10 years
  • Not incredibly comforting Ani
  • Both of the parental figures are concerned? Not good.
  • Are you sure that if it’s not in records, it doesn’t exist?
  • Kids come up with a logical solution an adult couldn’t? 
  • Ani, listen to Padme. She’s smarter than you 
  • Psychics? (No)
  • Master Sifo Dyas

Romancing the senator:

  • I love Padme’s dress
  • Don’t like sand when you grew up on a sand planet?? Who are you and what did you do with the kid from the last movie?
  • That’s a lot of CGI clones
  • Padme’s dress ๐Ÿ˜
  • So boba is the son.. got you
  • Can’t be rational? Isn’t that basic Jedi 101
  • Why did you have to take Padme on a possibly dangerous journey
  • If you don’t want a relationship with Ani stick to your decision, it’s not cool to play with other’s feelings

RIP Ani’s Mom:

  • That’s a cool red lighting effect
  • It’s the guys from the last movie!!
  • I like how all the architecture is unique to an area to showcase different cultures 
  • The bone dogs remind me of Mario
  • Rescue first talk later
  • This is why Jedis can’t see their families.
  • Good thing Ani knew exactly where to go
  • No Attachment doesn’t mean apathy. I have a feeling they’ll handle this poorly though.
  • I love the ‘Lil kangaroo creatures
  • Why are you blaming obi wan for your impatience? He took you in.
  • Wow, 17 and already a mass murderer? And you say you’re not impulsive? ๐Ÿคฃ
  • Dude failure is apart of life
  • He’s not going to stay where he is, is he? (nope)
  • Rebellious Padme
  • So how did c3po get his color

Rescuing Obi-Wan

  • Jar…don’t approve the army
    • ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ what did I just say? 
  • It will never abate
  • Wow Ani you’re doing a great job protecting Padme ๐Ÿคฆโ€
  • Now you have no weapon
  • If you’ve been dying since he came back that’s not healthy or romantic 
  • Obi-wan’s “good job” ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ Now I know where Ani gets his sass from
  • Good thing Padme is picking her lock
  • C3po and all his puns ๐Ÿ™‚
  • Oh man the clone army just in time
  • Y’all really just going to leave r2 and c3?
  • Are there Jedi engineers because Anakin would be great at that
  • Ultimate weapon? Is this a ref to the death star?
  • I don’t know why but the fighting feels really drawn out

The Final Fight of this prequel:

  • Ani went from wearing lighter colors to dark colors and I don’t know when the switch was but if I had to guess it’d be after mom dies
  • This fight cost Obi an arm and a leg
  • Blue vs red…classic imagery
  • Ani, do you need a hand?
  • Why not just launch the thing into the escape pod? Then he couldn’t escape.
  • Yoda are you not going to say anything about Padme and Ani kissing right in front of you
  • I like how they made 50 shades of pink somehow sinister
  • Since Palpatine is on both sides of the war, he’ll win either way
  • Kissed for so long the pastor left

Revenge of the Sith (Prequel #3)

  • Oh man if Ani was angsty before about not being allowed to test, can’t wait to see how much more he hates it now
  • I wish I could watch the prequels on 2* speed
  • I like how they essentially w wear tech headsets
  • Why didn’t r4 shoot the buzz droids
  • Someone give these droids a gun
  • I love how r2 jumps out of the plane
  • Oh its the guy from the clone wars tv show that I never watched
  • “Drop your weapons.” How about no
  • R2 is a veteran and took out two other droids by himself
  • The first force choke in the movies
  • I will say Ani’s actor improved
  • Cross of blue n red = crossroads of good and evil
  • Is it bad if I say there’s almost too many explosions
  • That would be like a slide. How fun

Enter Grievous, stage left

  • General Grievous. Is he a Jedi killer?
  • No head doesn’t mean he’s dead
  • Grievous why not use the lightsabers you have 
  • Strap in we are falling with style (wait wrong Disney movie)
  • Casual property damage
  • Not bad Ani
  • Obi is giving you credit, accept it. You’ve always wanted it…
  • C3 is gold now!
  • Casual Padme x Ani time
  • Padme is wearing iconic Leia buns
  • Yay she’s pregnant
  • They are going to ship the siblings off to two different sectors of the galaxy
  • So Anakin has to become evil in this movie 
  • Grievous sounds like he’s grievously ill or dying

Double agency and More romance-y

  • I love you. no, I love you more
  • Padme’s outfit ๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ‘Œ
  • I would think you would work on being honest with each other before getting married
  • You should get Obi-wan’s help
  • Yoda’s lack of empathy will be Anakin’s fall to the dark side.
  • Ah yes the casual path to dictatorship
  • Oh, Ani can you spy on the Jedi council for me, please?
  • Again lack of empathy. However, I thought Jedi were separate from the government and ruled themselves.
  • Ani can you please spy on the chancellor for us, please?
  • The Jedi code? Since when do you care about that
  • Palpatine is totally gaslighting Ani
  • It’s not a democracy anymore 
  • Palpatine you are no better than the council 
  • I bet that’s not the full story Palpatine (it wasn’t)
    • Palpatine is his apprentice?
  • Don’t choose Ani but rub salt in the wound by sending his master
  • Kinda cool to watch the Wookies fight in the war
  • Obi is very appreciative but i think it’s a facade of how Ani appreciates him
  • Oni is safe since he has to train Luke
  • Is Padme showing? (Yes) 
  • Does no one ask who the father is

Time For Battle

  • Why would you use such a noisy steed
  • Hello there…smash*
  • Now it’s an even playing field…kinda
  • Spider Grievous will haunt your nightmares
  • Ani please leave so we can talk crap about the chancellor
  • Ani lets prey on your insecurities 
  • I don’t know about becoming better than Jedi. Dooku, the Sith padawan, and Grievous said the same and are going to die/died
  • Expose my internal organs? How dare you
  • Ah yes because fighting with a sword is more civilized than a gun

MASTER WINDU

  • Ani please listen to Windu (he doesn’t)
  • Ok so there’s this YouTube video and it’s from this movie and the scene is coming up and I just can’t stop thinking about it ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
  • Palpatine backing up was so extra
  • So that’s how Palpatine gets his scars
  • Windu shockingly needs a hand
  • Why name him Darth father when he’s still a kid? Are you hoping he fathers the future of the dark side
  • You’re really going to betray obi wan so easily
  • Hey Ani, please go commit genocide real quick please
  • Peace until the rebellion happens
  • Cruel to shoot a dead body
  • They put too much faith in the clones
  • Good thing Yoda is a powerful warrior and has Wookie friends
  • Oh boy child murder
  • Love Padme’s dress
  • Oh so that is chewie
  • Kanobi is out โœŒ
  • Doesn’t tell her he’s the one who attacked the Jedi temple 
  • Wait for me ๐ŸŽถ
  • You have done well viceroy. Wait for my apprentice he’s coming to kill you
  • Ah yes I wonder who could have done the genocide with a lightsaber
  • Palpatine announces dictatorship while the Senate applauds
  • Now Jedi are encouraged to use their feelings? I’m confused. 
  • Finally asking the right questions obi-wan
  • War is officially over

Master vs Traitor

  • Padme outfit looks kind of like Rei’s
  • Great, ani is gaslighting her
  • You really force choked your pregnant wife
  • Master Yoda, you survived. Surprised? ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
  • Darth Sidious used thunderbolt. It was very effective! (Jk)
  • Good idea droid, stay out of the fight
  • So Yoda puts himself in exile
  • Ani’s line delivery ๐Ÿคฃ
  • This fight cost ani 2 legs and an arm
  • If you just killed him we could avoid the next 3 movies and it would be a mercy kill at this point 
  • Padme is so selfless to ask if ani is alright after he FORCE CHOKED HER
  • Ani, my dude, you have 3rd-degree burns at least. You shouldn’t be moving much less alive. 
  • Maybe DON’T touch Ani
  • Bro, you didn’t realize she was pregnant?
  • I saw no treatment for his burns. But we did get the iconic suit
  • Well Vader your dream came true I hope you’re happy 
  • Palpatine is lying to Vader? Great
  • Padme’s final dress and the funeral is so pretty 
  • Is obi wan going to be an awkward uncle

My obvious favorite prequel movie

It’s Revenge of the Sith. I don’t know what to tell you, it’s the best of the three prequels. Although, the first one isn’t bad either. If you’re wondering why I commented a lot on Padme’s attire instead of her character, she doesn’t really do much in all three of these prequel movies besides look pretty and be Ani’s love interest. That is, there’s not a lot to comment on, sorry.

While Qui Gon is probably the better of the two masters, Obi-Wan is my favorite. and here’s why:

So something was bothering me the entire time Obi-a-stud-wan was on screen. He looked familiar. Then it clicked, I have a friend who looks like the prequel movie Obi-Wan (but the friend is younger). I asked the friend if it was intentional, and he said no but the side-by-side comparison is uncanny let me tell you. We had a laugh. He’s also my DM for one of the campaigns mentioned in my DnD post.

Final Thoughts

Thank you for reading The Star Wars Prequel Trilogy: Sorry in Advanced. Comment below if your favorite Star Wars character. If you like the content I make, consider subscribing to my mailing list and if you like this, check out a different Disney show click here. See you in the next post!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments